Weekly update 15
The highlight is my trip to Milwaukee, as a potential licensee of Jockey for the country of Vietnam. I have a lot to say about this trip from several different perspectives. I will commit to writing an article from a cultural, familial, societal perspective. I guess I will leave the majority of the business details out, it isn’t really relevant other than the fact that this contract is going to be big, its the real deal, we have a shot at joining the big leagues. What it means for me in terms of tangible things is that I’m going to Vietnam in July, idk for how long, probably like 4 weeks, probably gonna go into August. Very emotionally exhausting, not really physically tiring, but very good. Food in Wisconsin is pretty boring. We also had a couple fastfood meals in Chicago, Portillos and another local fast food joint, its fine, I can see how its a regional specialty but its not really that good. They do not eat a lot of vegetables in that region of the country.
My Mom has totally flipped a 180 after the Jockey trip. (idk if its entirely the jockey trip, its probably also the fact that she’s seeing me in person, instead of letting her thoughts fester, bc honestly text is a terrible medium for her to communicate over). I am not sure if she sees my value to the family (non business) and then my value directly to my dad’s work? Or if shes just happy that I’ve been unemployeed for months but I’m still at the top of my game and able to perform well at a conference? Anyways, my mom went from being annoyed that I use the family credit card for groceries and saying she doesn’t wanna subsidize my unemployment and I need to figure out my job situation, to wanting to pay for a bunch of stuff and handing me cash. She was mildly annoyed at the prius being totalled, and now suddenly doesn’t care about that money. This might just be a case of growth fixing everything. Line goes up, she’s happy, not anxious about money because my dad told her how big this contract is gonna be.
The significance of this jockey trip for my family - This is the big leagues. It is unlikely that my dad can run the show by himself if this kicks off. But I need to continue to build the foundation of this family. I am not ready to spend a lot of time in Vietnam yet. I will elaborate further in the article. I imagine this earns me some credibility with my cousins and uncles who I have left in the dark about my career plans. Not a lot. But the opportunity to talk about it with them is another chance for me to just show that I am articulate and well versed in business, regardless of my employment status.
Returning from dropping my dad off to the airport to go back to vietnam with my mom, (friday I got back from the jockey trip, saturday I had bbq at grandma’s house and talked a lot to my uncles + cousins about the trip, sunday morning we dropped him off), on the way back it was just me and my mom, and I shared my general plans for the family, and how my work fits into the context of the jockey deal. I think it is just assumed that I am a significant part of the deal now, its just a question if I continue as I am, floating adjacent to the hands on work, or if I actually get hands on. It is also clear how much work lies ahead of my dad, and how badly he needs my help. She also sees how valuable I am to the family, how I can work wonders with problems no one else even dares touch, I have tackled TJ, uncle tony, ethan, these massive scars in our family, and I have exceeded everyone’s imagination, I have raised the bar of what they think is possible in terms of creating change in the family. With this backdrop, I emphasized the importance of family first, that family is the foundation of family business. I told her that the business should serve the family, that we build businesses for future generations, and that means we must be family first. If you have to pick, you have to sacrifice the business for the sake of family, as opposed to sacrificing the family to serve the business, we have seen tons of this in Vietnam. I told her how I am an examples of this, I would not be in any position to help my dad run his business if he did not take so much time and energy away from his business to raise me into the man I am today. Sure, the business would be so much bigger, but he would not have a Walton, and walton is the key to taking the business to the next level. Also, the ability to co-invest as a family, its so powerful to pool money together as a family for things like buying up distressed real-estate deals that require a big lump sum deposit on short notice. Paradoxically, putting family first will make the business bigger and stronger. She understands this paradox. She also expressed that although I might be extremely good at what I do, I still need to rely on others. I told her I am good enough to make them good enough, the same way my dad is good enough to make others good enough, like my dad was good enough to raise the financial status of his siblings so that they don’t have as much financial stress, which makes so many family interactions better and stronger. (she also expressed that she played a major role in dragging up his family financially, she is probably correct but I have not cross checked that information.) She seems a lot happier with me right now. I have not done anything different, this jockey thing is just so monumental.
bbq at grandmas house on saturday, it was good, I was trying to do a bunch of stuff, like trying to have it at my uncle’s house, trying to grill stuff, I was annoyed that my aunt convinced grandma to “just” do pizza. I thought pizza at grandmas was not enough of a draw to make people linger and spend time together, i thought it was just going to be people in and out, just for food. But chelsea decided to turn it into an excuse to clean up grandma’s house, to make it better for lingering. This was a spectacular call. We showed up early to clean the backyard to make it nice to linger, and as people showed up, it turned into a large group effort, and it cleaned up really nice. We all sat in the backyard for the first time in like a decade, everyone was comfortable and happy to linger and mingle. Big success, grandma was initially annoyed, like no, don’t clean, its too much work, I dont even wanna be outside because i’m old and its always too hot or cold, my body hurts. But she had such a good time, and even told uncle tony she wants more gatherings in the backyard in the future. I think grandma doesn’t like to see people cook too much, she thinks its a waste of time, manual labor we don’t need to do now. So she was happy with just pizza and mingling.
debbie at grandma’s house-my cousin lyndon’s girlfriend, debbie, alfred hwangs younger sister, one year under us from SMHS, was very interested in what I had to say about family, and family business, and was curious about how and why I lean into the chaos of the family and family business. She works for her dad, its been her only meaningful employment in her life, and it seems like she has a lot of feelings about it, and she’s probably curious about how articulate and well thought my opinions are about the matter. There seems to be a gap here, a lot of people struggling to figure out this asian american next generation thing, but taking it one step further with family wealth and a family business. Debbie was interested enough that she really wants to speak to me one on one, like lunch or coffee or something. I just don’t have enough energy for that right now, maybe in a few weeks or something if i’m bored. But it gets so political with that side of the family, like, no one really likes them and they have removed themselves from a lot of stuff. They are very anti-social now. And this is just a girlfriend- not a wife. They likely don’t have the goal of marriage. This is exactly why I find it curious, the things I share are so radically against what that side of the family believes, I love being controversial, but idk, ideologically converting a girlfriend seems like too much. It is such an intimate thing too, like, it can be emotionally intimate, idk if i wanna engage like that. If she was married, and its 100% locked that shes family, then sure, maybe. this is just evidence that there is a gap, it is not a credible lead on something to work on. Maybe, maybe, if i’m super bored, but with the jockey stuff, probably not.
car fender bender-I got in a little fender bender friday after I got back home. I was on my own on the way to clin’s house to get ninja creami stuff for grandma’s house. nothing notable here, just annoying, i’m probably like, still emotionally tapped out, high cortisol, that probably was a factor, and it also continues to contribute to my continued high cortisol+stress hives. But today I didn’t do jack shit and I feel so much better, but still not back to normal. I need more time off, but the ball is rolling on a few different things and I have to keep going.
progress with uncle tony, he said he wants to buy hiking shoes, i told him to go to big 5. To want to buy shoes is a big step, you don’t buy shoes when you’re depressed.
grandma’s house decluttering is the new goal (started by the bbq), i’m gonna start working on the garage, and the garage will open up storage space in the house, and the house as a whole will be a more comfortable place to linger and gather.
I feel like I am spread so thin right now. not in terms of time, just emotionally, its a lot of different threads i’m following up on, they are so different in nature, its a lot of emotional work, I am also processing this monumental jockey trip.
Articles I’m going to write, & outline, this will be done in the next week
Jockey Trip - Midwest legacy/hertiage business culture, I see parallels between walmart and jockey (conservative, once youre in, youre in, careful of who they let in, floor raising instead of ceiling raising)
Family owned business dynamic (maybe malmart falls under this too) but jockey and all the licensees have a similar dynamic- also a place where family business is celebrated (in contrast to VC world, where it looks like nepotism), calvin sr, calvin jr
VC culture(from vc conference) vs jockey culture and how that relates to me, where I fit into both cultures
conversations with my dad about out family unit and how it related to family business( and the book enduring advantage) and also the very specific indicudal examples I gave him about myself, like what I would be thinking about if I were to have a baby right now
eduring advantage, communicate culture
How Trump made me go to India- go and see
one day, I will write about my path back into the family business. It is too early now. I cannot speak until I have proven something. My opinions are not validated yet.